My BFF Elise

Continuing on with sentimental things, my best friend comes home tomorrow after serving 18 months in Arizona. Not even joking.

In late February of 2013 Elise called me and we chatted like we normally did. She lived in Provo at the time and was too far to meet in person at 9:00 at night. All of a sudden she said to me, "Kara, I think we need to think about going on missions." I was sort of shocked for a minute. I certainly wasn't ready for that and my anxiety immediately kicked in. I never felt like serving a mission was right for me so I sort of just blew it off. But, deep down inside I knew she was going to do it. I knew she had been thinking about it and was ready to start the process. I knew soon my best friend would be very far away from me.

She started her papers and her mom took her shopping. It was all coming so quickly and it was crazy! Then some things happened, the paperwork wasn't coming along like it was supposed to, and she was delayed for 4 months. She was absolutely heartbroken and almost gave up completely. For her, the timing was everything. She wanted to leave in August and now she wouldn't even be able to apply until August. But she stuck with it and kept going. That took incredible faith on her part. 

In May Scott came home and we started dating and Elise was confident she was going to serve. Together we prepared for very different things but ultimately it was the temple. We were nervous and excited together for what our futures held. On September 19, 2013 she received her call to Scottsdale, Arizona and the next day Scott asked me to marry him. Again, different but equally exciting. Her report date was December 18th and we knew for sure that I would be getting married without her. That was hard.

Ever since we were little we dreamed of our weddings and of course, both of us being there. Elise loves weddings more than any girl I know. Her #1 goal in life was always to get married and I think she's got her whole wedding all planned out. I know it was hard for her knowing she was going to miss my special day. But, I told her I wouldn't want her anywhere else except for serving a mission. We both cried a bunch and spent as much time together as we could before she left. I helped her pack her suitcases and organize her things. I am so grateful for that, even though it was hard to let her go.

We promised to write every week and we did it. EVERY. WEEK. I heard from her and she heard from me. I know it has helped our friendship grow and I am so grateful we have done what we can to maintain the relationship we have. Her last email to me made me cry a whole bunch and her testimony is incredible. I want to share a little part, the part I love most. This is Elise in her most honest form-

"Kara, I cannot tell you in words how thankful I am for your commitment in writing me these emails every week. It has meant the whole worlds to me and I am so thankful that we will have these memories to look back on for years to come! I know that I missed some very important days of your life, including the most important day, but I know that our friendship has been made stronger since I have been gone. I want you to know that the only reason I knowingly chose to miss those important things is because I love my Savior so much and I had a desire to serve Him."

 If you aren't immediately jealous of me for having THIS PERSON to call my best friend, I am so sorry for you. She's amazing and I can't wait to have her back here with me. 18 months has been much too long. If you wanna see some cute pictures of us click here. It's the goodbye post I couldn't bear to write. So, you get this story now instead of then. I have seriously missed her so much.

DFTBA

Two Years

I've been feeling pretty sentimental the last couple weeks because my Timehop has been full of emotional things. Scott leaving on his mission 4 years ago, coming home 2 years ago, and planning for Alaska 1 year ago. June is a happy month and I'm so glad it's June! As I've been reading statuses from "this day in history" I can't help but just want to cry. I can feel all those same feelings again and it makes my heart pound. I have loved Scott since he was 17. I won't deny that. I was totally obsessed might have dreamed of our future together and still don't believe it's actually happening.

Right before he left we had a band council party celebrating the new council with the old one. I was so excited (and nervous) to be president and I knew Scott would have advice. For some reason he was at the party and ended up driving me home. It wasn't anything super special until we got to my driveway and we just sat there. I talked about my nerves for the coming year and he told me about never really having a "best friend". He said so many things I had never even considered being concerns of his. It really felt like I was talking to him for the very first time. And funny enough, there was a song that described exactly how I was feeling.

"We're smiling but we're close to tears, even after all these years, we just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time."

I posted that on my Facebook later that day and it came up on my Timehop a few days ago. It struck me and I felt everything all over again. I've always known that Scott was special. I really didn't understand why, but he was just different to me. I cared about him so much. I still do, obviously, but I'm glad I can look back at those times and realize that the friendship we had was so, so special. I wish we could go back to those days sometimes. I wish we could be young and free again without tuition and rent and a car payment. But, this stage is fun too and I'm grateful for it.

Today marks two years since the first time I saw my boy as a returned missionary. I could not believe he was actually back again. I missed him terribly and it felt so good to hug him again. But, things were different. He was so much more serious and ready to finally love me ;) We walked around Jordan Landing at 10:00 at night because that's when I got off work. He held my hand and talked and talked and talked. It was nice to finally feel like "his girl". There weren't 300 other babes I had to fight off anymore. It was just me and him and that was it. It was definitely worth the wait.

I am so glad to have had the last two years with Scott. We've had so many fun times together and I am looking forward to more. He's the best and I love him so much. I don't know where I would be without my little muffin :)

Our first picture together on our second date :)

DFTBA

365 + 2

I could never, ever find the right words to describe how amazing this last year has been. But, I would be ungrateful if I didn't try.

Scott and I were sealed in the Jordan River Temple on February 15, 2014 and it was such an excellent day. Our wedding was perfect for us and I loved every minute of it. But, The 364 days that followed were even better than our one special day.

I've known Scott for about 8 years, and really well for almost 6. He has been one of my best friends and has stood by me through a lot. I never knew he would be my husband one day. I always hoped, but I never knew. Scott is a person I wish everyone could have. I know a lot of girls married to people like Scott. I see how happy they are and I'm grateful because I know I have that too.

After Scott and I started dating, I learned a lot more about him than I ever knew. I thought I knew him before- nope. As we spent more and more time together, I fell even more deeply in love. I've always been in love with him. He's always made my heart pound and my cheeks red. He's always given me fluttery, nervous feelings of excitement. But, when we started dating, that love turned into so much more. I started to care for him even more deeply. Everything I did was for him. Some people might think it's ridiculous to tie yourself down to one person at the age of 19, but I was happy to do it. I knew my life would never feel complete until I was sharing it with someone who wanted to be with me just as badly.

Scott and I dated for nine months before we got married. That was probably way too long, but that's what we did. By the time we moved in together, it felt like our lives were already combined. The transition into marriage was not difficult in the slightest. Sure, communication wasn't perfect, and it still isn't, but I've never, ever thought to myself "oh what have I gotten myself in to?" I really believe that the time we spent preparing to be married was precious. It was necessary. I am grateful for every single night we had to say goodbye at the door because it makes me appreciate crawling into bed with him so much more.

Marriage is about learning. I'm definitely no expert, but I can say that my husband has taught me a lot. And in turn, I've taught him how to eat vegetables and save money. We build each other up. I think it's awesome. I want someone that challenges me and continually makes me want to be better. Not just for him, but for myself.

I have loved this last year so much. I can't believe how fast the time went. I really, really don't know where I would be without Scott. I've said it before and I'll say it again, he saved my life and I could never thank him enough for it. I appreciate that he pushes me to stay in school and get my homework done. I love that he encourages me to go out and make friends. I admire that he works so hard every single day to build up our savings accounts for the future. I know I can rely on him. I can't wait to see what our second year of marriage is like.

I love you, Scotty :)

Keepsakes

If you know anything about me, you know I love to save literally everything. If it is even remotely important, I stash it somewhere and stumble upon it years later when I'm cleaning out my car/wallet/nightstand and smile and then continue holding on to it. Maybe it's a problem... who knows. My very first grown up temple recommend was no exception- I really wanted to keep it. I had worked hard for it and it had the signatures of two men who mean a lot to me. Plus it's a cool keepsake for my wedding album. But, the policy exists that when you are issued a new temple recommend, the old one is turned into your stake president and destroyed. I'm sure it's for security purposes, but I hoped they would bend the rules for me just this once.
A couple months ago I went to get a new recommend because I wanted it to be from my current stake and have my new name on it. As I sat and waited for one of the members of the stake presidency, I thought about how I would go about asking if I could keep my old recommend. I figured it was a dumb idea because I knew the rule, but I just wanted it so bad. Then I realized that it doesn't matter if I keep my first recommend because I'm always going to have one. Sure, they might change the design of the paper or make them a different size, but I'm always going to have a temple recommend. I never have to be without it and I can hold it dear to me.
I went in to my interview and handed my old recommend to President Peterson. I mumbled "I sure wish I could keep it..." After taking a long look at it he said, "I sure wish I could let you keep it." And then I said "It's okay, because I know I'll always have one." It felt good. It feels good knowing I'm worthy to carry around my recommend and be in the House of the Lord.
I had the opportunity to go through the temple for the very first time a year ago yesterday. It was a sweet day and I'm so grateful for that experience and the blessing that have come from that decision. I'm grateful for Scott for sticking by my side and helping me prepare for the most important thing in my whole life. I'm grateful for President Chappell for pushing me and making me work so hard to get my first recommend. It truly made a difference. I love the temple and I am so grateful to be surrounded by so many beautiful castles.

If I had seen this picture five (or even two!) years ago I wouldn't have believed it. 

Seriously, #lifegoals

DFTBA

Happy and Boring

Oh hey there, blog. I haven't posted much in the last few several months. It kills me. I want to document my life and remember the little (and big) things happening. But, I'm just so unmotivated. Maybe it's because I only have 9 followers who, let's be real here, have all probably given up on me. Or maybe it's because I'm a working student who also has a home and marriage to attend to. I don't know exactly why my blog has been neglected for so long, but it does make me sad. And I think I know what's up... My life is ultra boring.

I mean that in the nicest way possible. And it DEFINITELY doesn't mean I'm not happy, cause I'm happy! My life is wonderful (duh), but it's stable and therefore boring. Now before y'all get your panties in a wad let me explain some things. I am more than halfway through my 3rd year of college at the U. I've been here since I was a freshman and not much about that aspect of my life has changed. I love my major and my classes are interesting. They definitely keep me busy! But they are nothing new. School doesn't seem as exciting as it did two years ago. I love the campus but I'm kinda at the "been there done that when is graduation" stage. So, I don't really want to write about school.

Also, I've been working at Jamba for almost three years now. I love my job and I always have. Jamba is a great place to work and I love my new boss and our new store. But again, I don't have much to say about it. The fruit is still frozen and the blenders still blend. And I'm still afraid to talk to the new hires.

Being married is 100% awesome. I couldn't ask for a better companion. But, at lot of the things we do together and talk about are personal and too much for the internet to handle. I so badly want to write about the hilarious things he says to me while he cups his hands and throws water at me in the shower, but those seem like things the whole world doesn't need (or want) to hear about. 

Basically, I'm too private for this. And too lame. I was chatting with my primary teaching partner about how I physically can't stay up late anymore. Scott and I used to be up until at least 3 am every night and now I can barely make it to 10. I told her I felt so old and boring. But she, being the wise woman that she is, told me I'm not old and boring I'm just stable. Scott and I are together forever. Our relationship isn't ending tomorrow. We have our own place. Sure, we won't live there forever, but we know that it'll be home for as long as we need it to. We're both settled into our little life together. We don't have to stay up talking until 3 because we have tomorrow. And the next day and the next day. I'm grateful for that. I love knowing he's not going anywhere. And if we don't decide on each of our children's first and middle names TODAY, we can do it tomorrow and we can go to sleep. 

I'm grateful for my boring life. Even though I don't feel like it's exciting enough for the blogging world, I love it. I hope that I can pull myself together and document more of the good times. Plus, I love reading about other people's boring lives so maybe I'm not alone. Keep being patient with me, guys. Eventually I'll be more exciting ;) 

I'm gonna go get some Zupas and wait for my 4:35 class to start, because that's just what my life is right now. 

Also, real quick...

I was searching my phone for a picture to put on this post and I stumbled upon this beaut. So basically I was so excited to have a cute Christmas Eve pajama picture with my husband and then we found ourselves alone in our apartment on Christmas Eve with no one to take our picture. We improvised by moving one of our full length mirrors into the living room to take a picture of us and our tree. This was the result.

I love him and I loved Christmas.

I guess my life isn't that lame after all, I'm just lazy ;)

DFTBA

Oh, Hey. Fall 2014

J. Willard Marriott Library 

I love the new addition of the Imagine U 

:)

So now that the semester is like half over I should probably write about it, you think? I mean I haven't been drowning in frozen fruit or homework or anything for the last two months. Anyway, moving along...

School is pretty good. I'm finally a junior which is totally awesome. My GPA has yet to take a total nose-dive into the depths of the earth and I haven't quit yet so that's good! Also I'm only 20 and I'm half way to graduating, which is even more awesome.

I have four classes. I was gonna take five and then after the first day I was like "nah man, I can't do these 12 hour days anymore." So I dropped my nutrition class that was said to be the best and easiest class offered at the U. Spoiler alert: it isn't. I think word got out that it was so easy and the school intervened and made it more "academic". Meh.

I'm taking web design! It's super fun and super frustrating. I literally have no idea what I'm doing but it's pretty cool. It takes me back to the days of MySpace when everyone was a self-taught HTML master. It's evolved so much since then. Most of the basic stuff I knew isn't even relevant anymore. I have to make a website for someone and someone else is making one for me! Because just making a 10 page site isn't hard enough, we have to collaborate with others. Comm courses, man.

I'm also taking natural disasters. Right? It's not too bad though. I was actually totally committed to dropping that one before school even started but I figured I might as well give it a shot. SO WORTH IT. No textbook and no exams. What more could you want in life?! But you have to write like a billion papers but it's whatever. I don't mind writing.

Organizational communication is probably my hardest class as far as content is concerned. My teacher is an org comm expert which makes it really easy to raise your hand and give input without being afraid of sounding like an idiot. Not. No one says a word. But my teacher is awesome. Definitely a good teacher, just very, very smart. I got an A- on my midterm paper and my group presentation though so I guess I'm learning something. It's a super interesting class and I'm glad I've waited to take it until I can appreciate it more. A few of the concepts I've seen in other comm courses I've taken, so that always helps.

My last class of the day is communication and gender. I have the biggest love-hate relationship with that class. I can't stand how much people try to mesh men and women together into one giant group. I can't stress it enough that men and women are DIFFERENT and they are DIFFERENT for a reason. But, on the other hand I really enjoy learning about the struggles faced by a lot of people and what I can do to promote gender equality in society. My teacher is wonderful. I've learned so much so far in that class... even though I have to sit and bite my tongue.

Now that fall break is over it's only going to get harder. Prepping for finals is the worst. I love not having tests in any of my classes, but sometimes all these papers and projects that are due on the same day can be harder than a fifty question exam. Oh well. I chose this life.

As far as everything else is concerned I'm doing well. Jamba is still Jamba. I moved to day shifts and I cannot praise the heavens above more. It's so nice to be done with work at 4 and come home and actually see my husband. Getting up at 5:30 is no fun but it has gotten easier. I just love this routine we're in right now. Of course I wish we less homework and more hang out time, but you gotta do what you gotta do. School two days a week and work 3 days a week is the only way to survive. Never again will I do the school 5 days a week thing. Never.

There are sooo many other things I've been doing that I wish I could write about... but alas, nope. I need to just be better at keeping up with things. It's too hard to look back and try to remember what has been going on. But we are good and I am good and I am surviving another semester. Only four more to go :)

Please enjoy these three random pictures that (sort of) fit this post:

One day it just decided to pour for one hour straight. 

Foothill flooded and so did the psychology building.

It was pure insanity.

I had no idea such rain was in the forecast.

I wore my Toms and some capris.

It was totally freezing.

I took this at Courthouse while waiting for my train.

I now have an umbrella with me at all times.

(Which I have never needed since)

Stupid Utah.

This is Scott doing math homework.

Scott is ALWAYS doing math homework.

In fact, he's doing it right now.

I have several pictures of him doing math homework.

Anyway, I love him.

I'm happy he works so hard.

This is my infamous first day of school selfie.

I wore a scarf and a cardigan.

Typical.

Also TRAX is just as lovely as I remember it.

I didn't miss that 2 hour commute.

I PROMISE I will blog something worth reading.

Sometime.

Soon.

DFTBA

You Make My Dreams Come True

You know those pictures of your grandparents

where they are sitting on the porch 

in chairs holding hands,

just like this one?

Last October we took this picture

so that when we are old

our grandchildren could have a picture of us 

just like that.

We want to look back at this picture and

think of all the wonderful things that

we have done together.

I already look back at this and

think about what has happened

in almost a year.

I could never say enough times

how grateful I am for a man 

who makes my dreams come true

every. single. day.

I don't feel like I have given up

anything to be married.

I still get to go to college,

pursue my career,

spend time with my family,

and be lazy sometimes.

I don't have to give up on my dreams.

Scott is only here to help me accomplish them.

And even better, I get to

come home to the most handsome man,

eat, sleep, and live with a companion,

plan for the future with one constant in mind,

and laugh and cry and play

with my best friend

every. single. day.

I love him so much.

I could never, ever

say that enough.

I Love My Mom

Since Mother's Day is Sunday I wanted (like the rest of the world) to share why my mom is an awesome mom and why she's the best mom on the planet. Because my mom really is the best mom on the planet.

For almost thirty years my mom has been a mother. She has taken care of four children and sent three off into adulthood so far. Since moving out three months ago, I've appreciated my mom so much more than ever before. Not because I learned that I can't live without my mom, but that I can. 

Every day I am thankful that my mom taught me how to cook, clean, and most importantly shop. She taught me the importance of making my bed daily. I never once made it a habit at home, but now that I have my own house, I see why it's important. I make our bed every day and it makes the whole house seem happier. Scott and I eat dinner together every night because she set that example for me. I love making her recipes and remembering her tips and tricks when I cook in my own kitchen. And I can't forget to be thankful she taught me how to live on a budget. Making a shopping list and sicking to it helps me not go crazy at the store. I love her for that. I wouldn't be able to do it without her.

My mom has so much faith. I can't even begin to write all the stories of times she has prayed and been helped because of her faith. I used to see her wake up early to read scriptures or conference talks before going to work. I always wondered how she stayed so happy and positive throughout the stresses of life and I didn't understand it until I followed her example. Taking time for spiritual things helps keep everything in perspective. 

My mom is the hardest working mother I know. Ever since I was little she went to work every day and never complained about it. She went from being a kindergarten teacher to the headmaster of Challenger's Salt Lake campus. I admire her for standing out and moving up and proving to me that hard work will pay off.

My mom is the sweetest, most loving person. When you think of a "mom" you think of my mom. She's the one that comes into your room at night when you have bad dreams. She's the one who lets you cry about people who are mean. She's the one who will always make you feel better when you are sick. I've had friends tell me that my mom is really nice. My mom IS really nice. You can always find her doing something good for someone else. She's just that kind of person.

My mom has always made sure that my siblings and I have everything we've ever needed. She loves and supports us in everything we do. I will never forget when my mom was sitting in the pouring rain to watch one of my marching band competitions. Even though she had seen our show a million times, she wouldn't miss a performance. I appreciate her so much for always building me up.

I appreciate her for giving us a good father. I love my dad! As great as my mom is, her and my dad as a team is even better. She always knew the kind of man she wanted to marry and have a family with. She stuck to her standards and gave us a wonderful dad. 

I just love my mom. I could go on and on about her. I hope one day I can be as great of a mother as she is! I'm glad that my mom has taught me everything I've needed to grow up and move out and be a good wife for Scott. She turns every minute into a teaching lesson. She just wants to know she's doing all she can to make sure her children turn out to be good people.
Even though I live on my own now, I still love to go back home and see my mom. I still have questions and concerns about life and she's always there with an answer. I'm glad that even though I can live without my mom, I don't have to. Because no matter what, she will always be my mom and she will always have something to teach me.

I love you, mom! Thanks for everything you do!

And if you feel like crying, go watch this.
Seriously. It's amazing.

Don't You Quit

Remember this? It seems like a thousand years ago to me.
But it was ONE year ago... roughly.
It was a recap post of miserable April.
April 2013 was easily the worst month of my entire human life.
I really, truly hit rock bottom.
It was probably so bad because I didn't know in just two short months I would be living this super fantastic moment:

Our first second date.

Cause I was too scared to ask for a picture on the first.

Ha, I should have just asked. 

Accompanied with this wonderful blog post.

I never dreamed I would be living this in five months: 

This in ten:

And this in twelve:

General Conference cuddles

:)

The point is, you should never give up because you have no idea what is going to come next. Life is FULL of amazing blessings and second chances. I know I say this a lot, but I never thought I would be where I am today. I honestly didn't think I would ACTUALLY marry Scott Simpson. I didn't think I would ACTUALLY be able to finally get my hands on a temple recommend after going so long without one. I didn't think I would ACTUALLY pick a major and stick to it. I didn't think I would ACTUALLY move out of my parent's house and survive. 

But hey, it happened. I made it happen. I worked my little tail off and look where it got me. I'm dang proud of myself. I'm dang happy with where I've gone in the last year. I wish I could go back to my little self and say, "Self! You hang in there! It's all gonna be alright!" 

Either way, I'm okay now. I'm doing okay. And that's what matters. :)

DFTBA

Best Friends, Forever

We spent the night before putting together a playlist for dancing and talking and laughing together.

At 11:49 we said goodbye for the last time. 

I didn't sleep much.

I got up at 7, tired as can be.

It took me 40 minutes to shower and shave.

Never before have I taken so much time on my knees.

Threw on my makeup, almost cried.

Went to my hair appointment, almost cried.

Came home and fixed my disaster of a face.

Put on my black dress and mom told me I was beautiful.

Loaded up everything and checked 4x.

Only temple in the valley open = nowhere to park.

Almost cried again.

Couldn't find mom, couldn't find Scott.

Started to panic.

Finally got everyone together.

Hugged my boy and told him he looked so good.

He did look so good. 

Put on my dress and just stared. 

Mom and grandma oohed and aahed. 

Came out and saw his face drop. 

*finally*

Said goodbye to our parents and went up the elevator.

Temple worker said the sweetest words,

"We aren't going to separate you any more."

Sat and waited with my sweetheart with the calmest, most peaceful feeling.

Almost cried again when we walked in and saw all of our family and friends.

Heard the most beautiful blessings and promises, ever.

Filled with joy.

Hugged everyone, my brother was my favorite.

Came out of the temple to so many happy faces.

Pictures, pictures, pictures.

Windy and kind of cold, 

but at least it wasn't snowing.

Had a moment of realization that we were actually finally married and screamed a little.

Drove to reception center for lunch.

Delicious food and happy family. 

Bagpipers. SO COOL.

Random advice that I don't remember.

Elise's parents taking pictures to send to her.

Being so happy every time because I knew it was like she was there. 

Setting up for reception.

Making out in the groom's room.

Getting ready for pictures.

Photo sesh with our mute photographer.

Props to her for being the ultimate trooper.

And Austin for being her voice ;)

Packed reception. Worried about brownies.

Saying hi and hugging everyone.

Felt like a princess.

I lost a bet I thought for sure I'd win.

Cake, bouquet, garter, dances. 

HE PULLED IT OFF WITH HIS TEETH AND I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING.

Time to go change and leave.

Bubbles and goodbyes.

Oreos and balloons everywhere. 

Had to go through the car wash twice so we could see out the windows.

Good talk with Scotty, actually cried.

Little America check in.

Stayed in the tower on the 12th floor.

Rose pedals on the bed, sparkling cider on ice, and chocolates & berries.

It was adorable and so big and so beautiful and it felt like heaven.

Sister's snack basket that saved our lives.

It was the best ending to the best day.

I loved falling asleep next to Scott and not having to wake up and go home.

I loved that we were ALLOWED to be alone.

That no one was going to call us and bug us and ask where we were.

It was magical.

Being married to Scott is magical.

Our wedding day was perfect. 

I wish we could do it again.

:)

We really are best friends, forever.

photo credit

Dear Boys Part 9

As a goodbye to my past life and a hello to my new one, I'm going to write my last Dear Boys post. It's been quite the journey. I've come a long way. I've learned so much. I'm so thankful for all these boys for not quite having what it takes to handle this girl and leading me to my perfect man. The one that means everything and more to me.

With that being said, let us begin.

DEAR PROPHET,

I'd like to thank you for being my very first love. At three years old, that's a lot to handle. 

SINCERELY, PRESCHOOL

DEAR LET'S GO SHOPPING,

I had THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON YOU for like 6 years. I'm not even lying. I hope your mission is treating you well. And thanks for always being such a good example to me. 

SINCERELY, DANCING CELERY

DEAR AWKWARD,

Thanks for being the gateway drug into the wide world of hand holding. West Hills Middle couldn't have ever witnessed a more awkward encounter, ever.

SINCERELY, STILL AWKWARD

DEAR WAFFLES, 

I'm sorry for totally crushing your entire world. I hope one day you can realize what the important things in life are. I hope everything is okay. Thanks for always being there for me and helping me through those two years. I couldn't have survived high school without you.

SINCERELY, KJ

DEAR UTAH,

I hope you know that YOU are the reason I became a Utah fan. And YOU are the reason my favorite color is red. I don't think you'll ever understand the influence you had on such a young, dumb girl. You literally determined where I would go to college one day. Bravo.

SINCERELY, PASSING NOTES

DEAR SHARPIE,

I'm not quite sure what's up with your life right now, but I'm assuming you're still the same. You're just one of those unchanging people I guess. Anyway, take care of Lauren for me. She'll need it.

SINCERELY, KIZZLE

DEAR BINGHAM,

I can't say this enough- I'm eternally grateful I got out of that awful situation. I was only hurting myself and you got all the enjoyment out of it. I can't help but dream about kicking you in the face over and over and telling you how close you were to ruining my life. I wish I could just push "delete" and pretend it never happened. But you still haunt me. And it's still so awkward. And I hate it.

SINCERELY, HAPPY TO BE LEAVING

DEAR TEDDY,

I couldn't be happier to know that I really dodged a bullet there. I've only heard rumors, but I can't help but cry for you and they way things have turned out to be. I'll never forget how silly our whole relationship was. That was before you experienced 35 years of life way too quickly and became someone even your best brothers couldn't handle.

SINCERELY, PRETTY EYEZ

DEAR MY BFF,

Be happy and work hard. Good things will come to Jay one day :) Thanks for always talking to me about everything and being my best friend. Thanks for not killing me for being so annoying and getting through senior year with me. I'm glad we know what we know. ;)

SINCERELY, YOUR BFF

DEAR MANGO,

Thanks for putting up with my obnoxious self. And for laughing about the whole fruit thing. You're a real gem.

SINCERELY, REGION DANCES

DEAR BOY,

I always just wanted you to be happy. I still do. Seeing you open your mission call was the most relieving thing. You've been talking about it for years and now it's finally here. I can't help but be so proud of you, and a little jealous. Keep that head of yours up. And thanks for all those happy memories. That seems to be the only thing I can ever remember about you.

SINCERELY, GIRL

DEAR TRAX,

I still laugh when I think about it. The whole thing was just hilarious. Thanks for making life not so awful and for making the transition to the U a whole crap ton easier. It was nice to have a real friend.

SINCERELY, POKEMON

DEAR BLONDE,

I hope you know that I died for ten whole minutes when I brought my picture for show and tell and you said it was very nice. I used to daydream about us. Kindergarten was rough.

SINCERELY, MERMAID GIRL

DEAR ADAM & ETHAN,

You have no idea how awesome this is going to be. You just wait :)

SINCERELY, ONE DAY

DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND,

Looking back, I can see perfectly how we got together. All the pieces coming together to form the ideal picture. I wish I could explain it. I wish I had words to describe the way I feel about you. I wish I could tell you how thankful I am that you stepped in, picked me up, brushed me off, and told me to keep trying. You blessed me with so much love and forgiveness that I almost can't stand it. You mean everything to me. I can't wait to be your wife. I really can't.

SINCERELY, FUTURE WIFE

Why Working at Jamba is Sometimes Really Annoying

Public Service Announcements:

This is what work is like sometimes.

I just kinda give up and sit on boxes that crumble beneath me.

Just like my patience.

Basically we can entitle this photo

"Over Worked and Under Appreciated"

!!!!!DISCLAIMER!!!!!

Honestly, my job is a lot of fun.

I really enjoy it and I work with some stellar people.

But after two years of building up these pet peeves, I had to let them out somehow.

-You really don't need to grab your own straw. Really. I promise you that I will put one in your cup before I give it to you. And I PROMISE there's a really good chance you just grabbed the wrong one anyway. And I PROMISE WITH ALL OF MY HEART that every single one of us working is secretly laughing at you for banging your straw on the counter to try and open it. Only fools open straws like that. We know what we're doing. Please just stop.

-If I am doing dishes (or anything, for that matter) (but ESPECIALLY when I'm doing dishes) don't come up behind me and take over and start washing dishes like a tortoise. I GUARANTEE I can wash dishes faster and more efficiently than you can and I would REALLY appreciate it if you'd go find some other task to fulfill while I take care of the sink. Many hands don't necessarily make light work, but many productive hands make your manager happy. And by happy I mean not angry.

-In case you weren't aware, we have hired you as an employee and expect that you treat your job like a job. This isn't playtime. You don't come to work to hang out with your friends and be super obnoxious and unproductive. I understand that you're a teenager. But you are a teenager that has elected to apply for a job, accept said job, and have agreed to be a valuable employee of said job. Now do it.

-Peanut Butter Moo'ds have got to be the most annoying, time consuming smoothie to make. I can't even begin to describe to you how long they take to produce. I would rather die than make a PBM. I'm not even kidding. I hate everything about them.

-Can we please stop with the sampling when we are busy? Like. Stop it. I bet you $500 that whatever is in that blender is gonna get made again tonight and maybe you can have some later. But when we have a line and six orders to get out, your tiny half an ounce sample is NOT THAT IMPORTANT. Stop stopping what you are doing to go pour your half an ounce into a tiny sacrament cup and go put it in the back before getting back to what you're doing. The ONLY reason I don't scream at you right then and there is because there are customers in the store. You can guarantee it.

-AM I LITERALLY THE ONLY PERSON THAT KNOWS HOW TO DO LAUNDRY? And why does the entire store fall apart if Leah, Shambray, and I have more than one day off?

-Speaking of closing, if you are going to come in at 9:55 with your entire family, AT LEAST KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. You standing there for ten minutes just attracts more people. And that's when I start throwing blenders into the sink.

-Can we PLEASE stop with the Isis free smoothies thing? Please? I mean it was fine when it was one, but now cell phone companies are saying you can come in and get six. SIX. What the hell does a normal person need SIX smoothies for EVER SINGLE DAY?! I wouldn't be so mad about it if they weren't free. Like we don't even get paid to make them. Like. You make us so busy and it doesn't even show up on our hourly sales. And I then want to throw things.

-And finally, what is up with people who can't simply clean up after themselves? Like. Flush the toilet. Throw your empty cup away. Jamba Juice is not your mother. Stop acting like a teenage boy and be respectful of public places.

I bet you can tell that I'm a really patient and understanding manager, huh?

Whatever. It needed to be said. 

Oh also, 

I'm getting married in 17 days. 

HOLLA

DFTBA

26 More Days of Winter

There are 26 more days

until I become a Simpson.

There are 26 more days 

of falling asleep on the couch,

waking up at 1:30,

having to stumble through the dark,

say goodbye,

and go to sleep alone.

There are 26 more days

of living at my parent's house.

The house I grew up in.

The house I don't get to call mine anymore.

There are 26 more days

of just kissing.

There will be no more rules

no more boundaries

and no more worries.

There are 26 more days

of having a short commute to work

and a long, long one to school.

There are 26 more days 

of being a member of the Welby 3rd.

Of my precious nursery kids

that I've basically fallen in love with.

Of my wonderful Stake President

who basically saved my life.

There are 26 more days

until I get to cook my own meals,

clean my own apartment,

and live with my best friend.

There are 26 more days 

until I have to make my own life.

I have to learn to become a wife.

Scott's wife. My favorite person, ever.

There are 26 more days left of Winter.

I can't imagine a more terrifying

or exciting thing.

Terrible Twos

I recently (okay like two months ago) got called to the nursery.

I was shocked.

Like, if I had woken up with my head sewn to the carpet I wouldn't have been more surprised than I was when Brother Gilbert extended the calling to me.

I thought he wanted to talk to me about temple prep or something.

NOPE.

I was ultra sad that I A) wouldn't be able to prepare for marriage by the things learned in Relief Society B) wouldn't be able to do church swaps with Scotty anymore C) wouldn't be able to spend Elise's last few months home sitting by her at church D) wouldn't be getting Brother Eveland's delicious Sunday school treats anymore and E) was gonna get super sick from all the kids.

I whined to Scott about it and he told me everything would be fine. He came to my setting apart and told me it would be good for me to spend time with children. Because I really never have.

I was super excited for a new adventure though. And I absolutely loved the sisters I was going to serve with.

After I got set apart I knew there was no going back and I headed off to nursery my first week.

Oh. My. Gosh.

It took those 8 kids .3 seconds to steal my heart.

I cried when some of them graduated to sunbeams last week.

Literally.

There's this one little girl called Abbie and I swear she's the most perfect thing.

She's so cute. She smiles and it melts my heart.

She brings me books and puzzles and toys and just smiles.

She doesn't talk much but she knows sign language.

SIGN LANGUAGE.

SHE LITERALLY CAN'T DO A FOUR PIECE PUZZLE BUT SHE KNOWS SIGN LANGUAGE.

I can't handle it.

All the kids are so adorable.

They range from 18 months to almost 4 years, depending on their birthdays.

I love being around their sweet selves.

I appreciate my calling so much.

I don't even wanna know what it's gonna be like when I move and have to be released.

I just love those children.

We truly are children of God.

Farewell to (un)Lucky '13

People have suspicions of the number 13.

Some love it, some hate it.

Some people even build buildings without a 13th floor because... reasons.

Seems stupid, but they really do it.

2013 was definitely a weird year.

I failed myself miserably at life and happiness for a long time.

Try five months.

The beginning of the year was a whole lot of life kicking Kara while she was down.

I made some really dumb choices and was really lonely.

Winter lasted FOREVER and I had like one friend.

And she lived 45 minutes away. 

My classes seemed so dumb and impossible.

Everything that happened before May is a messy blur of numb feelings and strange colors.

I had no hope, no passion, no drive.

I never would have guessed that 2013 could have ended the way it did.

I never knew my dream boy would come home and want to see me,

ONLY me.

I never knew he'd be so crazy head over heels in love with someone as sad and broken as I was. 

I never knew that my life could completely flip around and that I could be so insanely happy with myself and my life.

I never knew such a sweet and caring man would ask me, little Kara, to be his wife.

Forever.

I never knew he'd happily come along to every single moment of wedding planning.

I never knew he'd like my family so much.

I never knew he'd let me cry to him weekly (sometimes daily) about dumb things stressing me out.

I never knew he'd become my best friend and my entire life.

Now, I know it.

Among school, family, work, church, friends, and Scott, I feel like I'm finally realizing the possibilities ahead.

The incredible things I learned and experiences I had helped me grow into someone I always dreamed I could be, but never really thought possible.

I couldn't be more grateful for this year.

Good and bad times included.

I wouldn't trade these experiences for anything.

I look forward to this next year and all the changes ahead. 

I'm thankful that this year, I won't have to wait until May to be happy.

I can be happy in January.

And I can stay happy until December.

Here's to another year. A year I didn't anticipate would be facing me so soon.

DFTBA

Word Vomit

Would you like to hear about something that makes me want to cry?

TALKING.

I'm bad at talking.

Really, really, really bad at talking.

That's the #1 reason I write this blog. I hate talking. When you write, you get as many chances as you need to make the words sound right together. But when you talk, it's one and done. And then people look at you like....

"what. the hell. just came out. of your mouth?"

Or maybe that's just me.

Once upon a time I was sitting in my communications class when I blurted out this gem....

And I quote: "Matt how do you talk so well? You always have a word for everything. I wish I could take a class on talking so I don't sound like an idiot all the time. I'm just really bad at talking."

I SAID THOSE EXACT WORDS TO MY COLLEGE PROFESSOR IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CLASS.

That, right there, was a perfect example of why I need a class on "talking".

He told me to read more books. The more words you know, the easier it is to find them.

I've always been told that if you hate 10 things about yourself you should pick one and work on it until you've either fixed the problem or learned to be okay with it and then move on to other things.

Well, folks, I need to work on talking. Or, rather, NOT talking. Sometimes word vomit is my hardest battle to overcome. I need to shut the heck up and think about what I'm saying to people. I've done enough damage in my *almost* nineteen years of life where words are concerned... It's time to be different.

Here's to growing up!

DFTBA

100 Days!

(This post is basically just a journal entry for me. It's probably boring and way too long. But read it if you want.)

Remember when it was 729? Then 500? Then 300? Then 200? Well. Now it's 100. And I'm flippin flipping out!

Yesterday I went to CH and Simpson told me he'd be home/released on May 31st. Which means (because of leap year) that his mission was exactly 730 days. :)
I'm so nervous/excited. I can't decide what it is. I'm scared to see him again.... With everything we've been through and all... But I'm also really excited to have him home and have my friend back again :)

I'll NEVER forget the first time he talked to me. I was a tiny little 7th grader and he was like my idol. Haha I just remember our first concert when Mr. Neves was like this is Scott, he's in charge, listen to him. I just drooled over him :P
Three years later my buddy Ryan called and invited me to marching band. I was like lol yeah right! But I went anyway and fell in love with it within five minutes. Mostly because Scott came up and talked to me and I was literally shaking and thinking, "oh my gosh. Scott is taking to me. SCOTT SIMPSON IS TALKING TO ME." Hahaha I was such a dork.
Within a week I had been adopted into the band family and I loved it. All those boys were like my older brothers, always looking out for me. They teased me about Geoff but at the same time gave me advice. They got me out of my classes to take trips to Smith's or McDonalds but also encouraged me to get good grades. They would invite me to hang out ALL THE TIME and made sure that I was included in everything. They were the best friends a girl could ask for, especially Scott. If he EVER sensed that something was bothering me, he'd text or call me or stop me in the hall just to talk. I can't even tell you how many hours we spent sitting in the car talking about everything from Jess to Geoff to church to school to the future to missions to families to... Anything. Eventually I got over my "obsession" and we became actual friends. He was super popular but he still made time for me and I loved that. :)

When he graduated things were different but yet they were the same. I stared to REALLY like him but it was complicate because I was dating his best friend... (Long story. Meh.) We got in some bad fights, went a lot of weeks without talking, and had a hard time adjusting to change. Fortunately, we always made up and became friends again because that's just what friends do. Plus he was getting ready for his mission and I wanted to be part of that.
We weren't taking when he got his call and I was kind of devastated. He texted me where he was going and I just cried. It became real that he was leaving and I knew it was gonna be hard to have him gone. He helped me get through so much crap and always had good advice for me. I started freaking out and the next time he was at Copper Hills I just ran up to him and hugged him and told him I was sorry for everything and that I was sick of fighting. We made up for the five hundredth time and everything was Jim dandy after that :)
Right before he left we got really close again and it was hard because it was kinda like forbidden love. I had a boyfriend, he really liked someone else, and it was just crappy. I was so confused and didn't know what I was feeling. I felt like I was way too young to "wait" for him and he agreed with me on that. I tried breaking up with Kolby but couldn't do it because I really didn't know what I wanted. I spent so much time just bawling and not wanting Scott to leave. But as much as I was fighting it, the day of his farewell came and I spent the whole day at his house. When it was time to say goodbye he just hugged me and didn't let go til I was ready. And even though I was really sad, I felt peaceful like everything would be okay and that I'd see him again. I was like write me ;) and he was like write back ;) and then we laughed and I went home and didn't even cry. I was excited for my first letter :)

When it came, I ran around my house for two hours and read it over and over. Letters were my favorite. Sometimes they were really silly, sometimes really serious. A few of them had a million tiny hearts all over them and that just gave me butterflies. I still asked him for advice (mostly about band and Seminary Council stuff) and he always found a way to make me feel better about things.
Over time it got harder to write. I felt like I was being distracting. Life got busy. You know, the usual. But I never stopped counting the days. I never stopped dropping into Simpson's office to ask about Scott. Because I'm dang excited for him to come home! He's been one of my best friends for so long and I can't wait to see his face again. To laugh about dumb things. To talk about life. Just everything.
100 days. :)

DFTBA!

Learning to Be Content

I think this is something that everyone struggles with. It's hard to live here, today, in 2013 with such a crazy world around us. Everything is new, everything is fast, everything is "I must have this right now or I can't be happy!". It's a little bit ridiculous. But, I definitely fall into these traps and have a hard time being thankful for what I do have. Because heck, I have a lot.

So anyway, let us begin with when I was eight years old. Elise moved in to the house on the corner and we became best friends. We went for walks, played barbies, built blanket forts, had sleepovers, and had so much fun being kids. But, all we could ever talk about was teenagers and how bad we wanted to be teenagers. I think we underestimated how hard growing up would be... because I specifically remember writing her a note in eighth grade that outlined all of the difficult times we had overlooked as children and how badly I wish we could go back and just enjoy the time we had as kids. As a result, we wished that high school would hurry on up and be our lives. We dreamed of cars, boys, dates, dances, make up, jobs... all the things that did nothing but stress me out for three whole years. So of course, we dreamed of college. Interesting classes, bigger schools, being away from home, freedom, parties... you know. The basics.

But the truth is, college really isn't all that great either. It's a hundred times more stressful than anything I've ever experienced in my life. And as much as I'd love to be married with a family and a career, I'm sure that is even more hard to deal with.

So, my friends, I would like to share with you my epiphany I had today. Are you ready? Okay.

"You are never going to be content with life, so you might as well just be content with life."

And I quote-

"You are never going to be content with life, so you might as well just be content with life."

ONCE AGAIN-

"You are never going to be content with life, so you might as well just be content with life."

Seriously though. I just need to take a step back and appreciate the stages of life that I'm in while I'm in them and just be content with life.

Here are a few examples of things I'm rather content with! :)

-I've always (obviously. like did you even read the beginning of this post?) wanted to go to college, and here I am. And not only that, but here I am at the school of my dreams. Every (other) day when I get off the train (sometimes I get off at the hospital and walk down the giant snow hill...which is mighty pretty), I look up at Rice-Eccles stadium and admire how cool it is. I think about how lucky I am to be at a Pac 12 school. I walk by the old buildings and think about how many great names have walked those halls. I admire the huge trees, sometimes covered with snow, sometimes with leaves, but always beautiful. I watch as students of all races, ages, shapes, and sizes walk around, chattering away. It's amazing to me how different that campus is from where I live. I never knew Utah could hold so many kinds of people. I love it. I absolutely love it.
-I've always wanted a car that I could jump in and go do whatever I want/need, and here I am, with a 18 year old Bronco that I have to put a lot of money in to but it still runs like the dickens! It has only failed me a few times, but she always pulls through! I don't know what I'd do without her!
-I've always wanted a job and a paycheck, and here I am, working somewhere I absolutely love with people that I absolutely love. And even though I feel like every penny I make has to be spent somewhere really lame, I'm glad I have it. And even though my job isn't really one to brag about, it makes me happy, and that's all I care about right now.
-I've always wanted a lot of good friends that I could turn to for anything, anytime, and here I am with a whole network of people who have my back no matter what. I appreciate their kindness and love for me and  the fact that many of the biggest decisions of my life have led me to those people.
-I've always wanted a big family to sit and laugh with about silly things, and here I am with three great siblings and two great in-laws that complete our family. I absolutely love when we all get together and have a good time. Even if it's just a few of us, it's still awesome and it's what makes home, home.

There are just so many wonderful things I have in my life right now. I'm so thankful for everything that I've been blessed with and there is no way I could name all of it. I know I have a long way to go before my life ends, but I still feel like I've come so far. Growing up is scary (and expensive) as crap but I really do love it. And I know that every single day I learn something that is going to help make me into whatever I become.

Although I am very excited for the future, I'm happy about the present. I'm content with my life.
:)

DFTBA!

Quick! Say 10 Things You're Thankful For

I blame my hideous mood on wintertime. Yes, I know my last name is Winter. Ha Ha Ha. That doesn't change the fact that I hate it. Today is a terrible day. I fell and then slid down the hill while walking to class (stupid snow), had to clean my car off THREE TIMES (stupid snow), no one will pick up Kaylee so I have to go out and drive again (stupid snow), and I accidentally put too much water in my tomato soup (which if you think about it is technically just melted stupid snow). So I need to write down ten things I'm thankful for because I'm sick of being such a downer.

1- Whole milk and Fruity Pebbles

2- The friendly human beings at the Institute. And the free hot chocolate and banana bread.

3- Kittens. Always.

4- My incredibly wonderful coworkers

5- My family. Parents especially.

6- Texts from my best friend consulting me about fashion advice

7- The fact that I didn't die in the commute to school today

8- Clean laundry

9- My opportunity to go to college

10- Brother Page's awesome lessons

Also, I'm thankful for the hilarious things I find on the Internet

:)

DFTBA

DFTBA

So I have this friend called Rachel. 

I met her via marching band a few years back. She's in colorguard and a very talented girl. And she likes cats so I'm instantly attracted to her.

 Anyway, she ends all of her blog posts in DFTBA. It took me a while to understand what she was saying but eventually I got it! It's an acronym  that stands for Don't Forget To Be Awesome. How great is that!? Awesome is practically my favorite word! And it's a super great message! 

Don't forget to be awesome. 

Life can get hard, and boring, and stressful, and monotonous, but don't you ever never ever forget to be awesome. It's just so simple. 

So, since I've been searching for some sort of closing words for my blog posts for over a year now, and I'm a big fat copycat, I'm gonna use DFTBA.

Thanks Rachel for your inspiration and awesomeness.

:)

DFTBA!